Ignorance.Is.Bliss

~my 'Other' side~

Lahirnya Seorang Puteri

23 april. my mom messaged me at 00:35.

it was a baby girl! well, actually they knew it already. that's the beauty of technology. no element of surprise though.

kak ayu did a cesarean. this time the baby was in good health. infact she is quite heavy. i think around 3.3kg. aish was only 1.7kg but he's premature at that time.

so, now complete lah sepasang. a boy and a girl. i called kak ayu yesterday and she was fine. maybe she will be discharge tomorrow. still no name yet. my sis still working on it.

anyway, congratulations to my sis for her new born baby girl. siap la ko aish, you had your time and it is up. time to manjakan your little sis plak. muahaha..

to baby girl, welcome to the world. make your parent proud of you. don't let them down. i will always pray for your success. make no mistake, this world can be harsh. but i believe you are up to the challenge that awaits you.

hope to see you soon girl!

No. 26

do you know what this is?

ok. let me tell you. this was a jersey CLAIMED to be terry's. sounds like a bull right?.. well, i still can't believe it myself but maybe it's true.

so how in the hell did a jersey so precious (for all chelsea's kipas susah mati) ended up in a friend's house?

the story goes that my friend's housemate (also a chelsea fan) got it during the chelsea tour last year (i also went there too, click the chelsea fc asia tour tag) when terry throw his jersey to the crowd. so basically he was at the right place at the right time.

i just couldn't believe it! so if it was true, than i had officially touch (albeit not wearing it even i wanted to so badly) a real chelsea jersey that the captain wore during a match that i watched!

i mean, it meant a lot for a kipas susah mati like me tau. (alah.. all you jerks out there would also did or said the same thing if it's your team's shirt.. ngaku je lah..)

daaammnn!! dengki aku.. siot ar!.. i want that jersey! aaaarrrgghh!!

thinking of kidnapping it la.. hmm..

"4 Missed Call"

i have been staring at the screen for like eternity, thinking of what are the right words to start this post. and still don't have a clue.

i feel like writing something. i want to write something. i just don't know how to start.

today i felt quite sad actually. partly because i didn't answer a phone call. the irony was that i've been waiting haplessly for it and when it did finally rang, i was unaware of the blaring loud ringtone because i was in a deep fucking 'death' sleep (directly translated from tido mati). fuck! - that is what happen when you just starting to sleep during a time when other people are busy going to work.

the moment i woke up (and saw the missed call) my mood was nowhere to be found. so i started the day with the feeling of.. sadness.

only at somewhere around 5.30pm did i realize that i need to go out from my house. because i'm getting depressed.

i did some lepaking at kepong. managed to socialized with a few friends. clearing my mind of a few things.. for a while. when they started to go home around 8pm, well i should do the same.

on the way, thinking i don't want to pray in a rush i decided to stop by the mosque. i always admire the new kepong mosque. it is so modern and beautiful.

and one thing about praying in a mosque is that the state of calmness you are in. it's so different with praying alone at the comfort of our room everyday.

after prayer i decided to stay for the Yasin recitation. considering tonight was malam jumaat. week in week out i had been reciting it alone in my room, so i guess maybe i need a little change once in a while.

and boy we could really feel the difference doesn't it? the atmosphere, circumstances, mood, situation makes us more calm, serene, down to earth. i think the right word is more "kusyuk".

the imam said doing jemaah or reciting in groups is always better than doing alone. also the chances of our doa being heard are higher than doing it alone. maybe its kind of a teamwork thing. well, you know the concept. don't need to explain in details.

it is really hard when we really miss something or someone. it really gets into you that sometime hopeless is like a best friend, depress is your food and you drink tears. damn!

i asked a lot from God just now (and everyday infact). family, myself, someone. maybe mine were the least listen to but who know. maybe.. just maybe.

i went back home after isyak. still feeling down but better than earlier. so to speak.

i logged on at around after 9pm just now and now its already 1.42am. took more than 4 hours just thinking of what to write. countless minutes of walking around and to many poison smoke inhaled already (i lost count).

hmm.. i think i should sign off for tonight. my eyes are getting tired and sore watching at the screen.

-02:04am-

yours truthfully,

Ulang Tahun Perkahwinan Mak Ayah


years of marriage: 33 years.

this is no april fool. you fool.. hehe.. the marriage was fortunately and definitely true. it was not a hoax. i repeat.. not a hoax.

this is what we called love. it has been that long. why 1st of april? maybe a lot of people wonder. why this date?

well, maybe the date was convenient to them at that time. not sure. but i mean who cares. it's not our culture anyway. only fools celebrate april fool.. haha.. err.. no offense.

i called my father. i asked him what is your secret? he said " kalau salah say sorry". futhermore he said:

" selalu selawat. low profile and selalu usaha.".

he gave me some more advised about work or, more like, his experince in his early working days.

"ambik je mana-mana kerja. jadi security pun tak apa."

"dulu bapak jadi waiter. woih, teruk kerja tu. 24 hours.. shift.." etc etc..(he said something more. i can't remember)

it just shows me that i don't have to look far for an inspiration. an example of hardship, sacrife and the most inportant of all, the will to live.

happy anniversary mom & dad. i wish you all the happiness and hope that your love for each other will always stay strong. even untill the end of time.

may God bless both of you. Amin.

Confused?

To love is to suffer.
To avoid suffering one must not love.
But then one suffers from not loving.

Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer.
To suffer is to suffer.
To be happy is to love.
To be happy then is to suffer.
But suffering makes one unhappy.

Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.

So.. which one is it?!..

To love or to suffer?..

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