Raya & Jejak Kasih

today is 12th syawal. some people say raya is for a month so its the 12 day of raya lah. for some raya only lasted for a week. it really means "aku dah malas nak hidang kuih ngan air. kite lepak kat kedai mamak je kalau nak minum-minum". understandable.

so how did it go?.. for me, well, slightly different from last year although much or less it was the same. i'm sad and happy.

sad because once again i didn't feel the raya spirit again.. same as last year i have no emotion what so ever when i kissed my parent's hand while asking for forgiveness. no sadness no nothing. hmm, i did felt a bit sad la but no tears flowing. just a sense of guilt of not being a good son.

happy because this year i met a few of my long lost friend! a sort of like 'compensation' for my dull raya. and also for the 1st time in so many years i had other friends visiting other than mr. fareed, my good friend.

shanty pero. nice meeting you. my secondary schoolmate. met her by chance. i was attending my booth at the ramadhan bazar (i'm a temporary salesman selling shoes and shirts.. remember?) and there she was standing in front of me. aku pun tegur la. she was bit suprised (hey, who wouldn't right?).
lost meter: 15 years

constantine, roger laping and a friend if theirs *sorry forgot your name bro*. thank you so much for coming both are my schoolmates.

lost meter: cons-5 years, roger 15-years.

shamsudin, ita (wife). 1st raya with wifey. really appreciate it for visiting with your parent. and for our unimas sighseeing. it was so fun! nearly trapped inside because they closed the campus gates.. hehe..
lost meter: a few month.
*p/s: din is not actually a long lost friend. we've been seeing each other in kl but its been a while since he visited me for raya.*

reza-rizvy. thanks for coming bro. he was my junior in primary school. and that day when he came, he offered me to go beraya. so i joined him la because i had nothing to do. from then on we visited 6 houses. none i knew what so ever because all are his friends. he send me back at midnight! and he drive like mad!! i think he was imagining he drove a ferarri or an f1 car or something. at one point i was fcuking scared. damn!.. haha.. but it was fun though.. =)

lost meter: not sure around 16-17 years.

azmin and ayu akida. great meeting you guys. i went to visit their house. both husband and wife, are my friends. ayu (wifey) was my classmate at smkbl while azmin was my neighbour during my matriculation days in chermai jaya. love blossom during those time and i'm proud to say that i played a part in the match making process.. =) now they have a wonderful family along with 3 beautiful kids.

lost meter: ayu-9 years, azmin-9 to 11 years.

nurhidayati. currently holds the record of my longest long lost friend. my secondary scoolmate. last seen in form 1. she transfered to other school the next year. met her in a very strange place-at a parking lot in at tabuan jaya business area, at night, when all the shops already closed!.. haha.. met for only 10-15 minutes but it was worth it. thanks dear.
lost meter: 17 years!

fareed ngok ngek. every year ko datang. tapi i still want to express my epreciation to you. thanks dude!
lost meter: not lost

Salam Di Pagi Aidilfitri - 1430H/2009

selamat tinggal Ramadhan. selamat datang Aidilfitri.

tiba masanya untuk bulan ramadhan meninggalkan kita. manakala bulan syawal pula kembali menjelma. sebagai ganjaran Allah meraikan perjuangan, pengorbanan, ketakwaan orang-orang yang beriman dan kepada sesiapa yang sentiasa menurut perintah Nya. entah mengapa aku terasa sedikit sedih. sedih meninggalkan ramadhan yg begitu mulia. mungkin aku risau kan ibadah aku. aku sangat berharap ibadah aku disepanjang bulan ramadhan akan diterima Allah s.w.t. kalau tak banyak sikit pun aku bersyukur.

i love hari raya. but at the same time i hate it too. macam mane pulak tu?.. hmm.. i love the feeling of pagi raya or the 1st day of raya. happiness is everywhere. you can feel it. perasaan tu kita tak boleh gambarkan tapi kita terasa gembira yang lain dari gembira hari biasa. it is just... so different.. i'm sure you know what i mean.

hate? it is because or the memories it brings with it. past through my head like streaming water. so much to remember. so much to bear. can't handle it sometimes. the sweetness. yes. the sweetness is making me sad.

kenangan. kegembiraan lalu membuatkan aku lemah untuk menghadapi aidilfitri. aku kalau boleh tidak mahu mengingatinya. tapi apa kan daya. aku tidak mampu menahan kenangan manis - bukan pahit - yang datang tanpa henti. menusuk terus ke hati. aku juga pasrah dan terpaksa juga mengharungi nya.

pilu. rasa yang menyelubungi aku di pagi raya. ketika takbir berkumandang. entah kenapa irama takbir hari raya sangat memilukan. saban tahun. tahun ini juga tidak ketinggalan. cuma ia semakin menusuk hati ini. membuatkan aku terasa begitu lemah.
 
kegembiraan. itu yang aku doakan kepada semua orang. menyambut hari raya dengan tawa riang, tiada tangisan. hanya tangisan kegembiraan, tangisan keinsafan dan tangisan memaafkan. itu yang sepatutnya dirasakan setiap insan bukan? mungkin aku salah. dan aku tahu ada juga manusia yang tidak gembira bila di hari raya. tapi aku tetap mendoakan semoga mereka akan merasa juga nikmat gembira di hari raya suatu hari nanti.

kemaafan. itu yang aku harapkan. daripada semua insan yang pernah aku kenali. jika di izinkan, ingin aku cium tangan mereka semua. kecil, besar, tua malah muda sekalipun. aku tidak mengharapkan balasan apa-apa. aku cuma inginkan mereka semua memaafi aku dengan hati yang ikhlas juga. itu sahaja.

di pagi yang mulia ini, aku juga ingin mengambil kesempatan, untuk menghulur tangan dan jari ku memberi salam. meminta keampunan dan kemaafan dari sekalian insan yang mengenali diri ini. tidak kira yang sudah lama atau baru sahaja mengenali aku. sekali lagi aku katakan, ia datang dari dalam lubuk hati yang ikhlas. halalkan makan minum aku. halalkan hutang-hutang aku jika ada yang sudi. tuntutlah dari aku jika aku terlupa.

sememangnya aku juga sedang belajar. belajar untuk memaafi. tiada yang sempurna di dunia ini.

akhir kata, sambutlah salam sayang dari ku di pagi aidilfitri ini.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA. MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.

Aidiladha Menjelma Lagi

this year, as any other years infact since i came here, i celebrate hari raya haji in kl. today ajak and me went to masjid amaniah in kepong for our raya prayer. then we head for breakfast because we were damn hungry. actually ajak was the 1 that was starving to death. i manage to prepare a hot cup of 3 in 1 coffee (yum yum) before we went out.

then we went back home. and now we're just resting our ass off. it's been raining the whole morning. infact the rain keep pouring down since yesterday. so no wonder we heard about landslides happening everywhere. 3 major landslide tragedy happenned over the past 3 weeks. and it costs several lives as well. so what was to blame? or should i say who? whatever the excuses are, at the end of the day it is ourself to blame. agree? not agree?.. hmm..

yesterday we did spring cleaning. and boy we cleaned up everything, sold whatever we could and throw away anything that were deem rubbish. and finally a house that i can proudly call home now.. hehehe..

yesterday we did some planning on what to do today. but we'll see what happens. it's still raining outside. still contemplating the cozy atmosphere to lepak-lepak at home. still felt strange though. i'm not sleepy even when i just had over 2 hours of sleep today.

yesterday ajak and me reward ourself by spending our hard earn money (by selling some old junk that has been occupying ou house for so long) to a nice meal at kfc. but we need to top up an extra 4.45 ringgit la. it was already around 4 o'clock and this time we were both starving to death. ajak was crawling through the steps and manage to order at the counter while needing some assistance to stand by some caring customers while i was leaning on a tree across the road unable to even stand because of the hungriness, begging for food from passerby while waiting patiently for ajak to buy our snack plate meal (good story telling eh?).. after that we just walk-walk around carrefour and jusco. went home aroung 10pm. tired woo..

today hopefully we get to walk-walk again. boring la kat rumah. at least for me.