Lambaian Terakhir

sunday, 25th may 2008. was my last day working at JMP.

i dont know where to start. a lot of things to say. a lot of memories to share. good bad. it may seems not that long-3 years-but for me these 3 years was actually the years that really make the difference in my life.

between these years, a lot of things has happened. important things. events that totally change the course of my life.

TOTALLY.

the best thing happened to me during these years.
the worst thing also happened to me during these years.
the happiest and the saddest.
happy. sad. uncertainty. all mixed up in my head right now. scared. scared what lies ahead. scared what will happen?

Pasrah

sad.
hurt.
painful.
agonizing.
sucks!

utterly devastated. the more suitable words to sum it all.

this was the champions league cup we're talking here. not some domestic cup. to wait for 5 years for the final was one thing. but to watched them lose-with a sudden death penalty kick-was another thing.

it really was painful. and still is. one kick away to be the champion. one slip and its gone. GONE!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

i felt really sorry for the lads. they worked so hard for it. especially john terry. i read in the papers that he was inconsolable. he cried from the final whistle blows, in the dressing room, while boarding the team bus.


[JT missed the crucial penalty]

i think lady luck was kidnapped by man utd fan that night. :-)

as for me on why am i so devastated?

1) coz i'm a chelsea fan la of course
2) what ever reasons all chelsea fans around the world gives. same with me.
3) i went to hartamas with my friend (not a chelsea fan but a barca fan that supports man utd that night coz he made a nigger-a chelsea fan-angry while at the gym where he work-out) and watched the whole match from the first whistle till the last spot-kick. and the best part was, we watched it WHILE STANDING FOR THE WHOLE 3 HOURS!

yup.. you heard me. S-T-A-N-D-I-N-G. why? coz its full house that night. mostly man utd fans (around 80%-i think). no seats. no chairs. not a single one available (that was visible to us la) that night.

i felt that my legs were going to explode that night. considering you stand for 3 hours.

was it worth it? yes and no. yes because its the FINAL. no because chelsea LOST. but i'm really proud of the team that night. they played with their heart and soul. mybe next year is chelsea's year.

so. what past is past. there's nothing we could do. we'll just hope for the best for next season. hopefully chelsea will bounce back stronger next season. who ever plays, who ever the coach, manager or assistant manager will be, i just hope that chelsea will win some trophy (if not all!) next season.

there is so much to say, so much to type. hehe.. but i think its enough for tonight. next stop, UERO CUP 2008 here we come!

Germany! Germany! Germany!

~ A Chelsea fan. And always a Chelsea fan! ~

Doa Dari Kejauhan

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

if you want someone to be happy, sometimes you need to take all the shit that comes with it.but if taking all the shit are necessary to make them happy, then so be it.

even if you are not part of the happiness, then so be it.

if you could only watched from afar, then so be it.

if it means that you have to endure all the guilt , pain, tears, loneliness through the uncertainty of what lies ahead in our life, then so be it.

and if the only thing you can do is pray. pray for their safety, or health, or success, or happiness..

then so be it.

even if it really kills you watching them smile, laugh, having fun and you are not anywhere to be seen in the picture then you have to swallow it.

sepahit mana pun yang melalui anak tekak, pejamkan mata, butakan rasa. jika itu sahaja harga yang perlu dibayar untuk melihat sebuah kebahagian untuk orang yang tersayang.

so be it.

Biasakan Diri

i'm still getting used to it.

give me some time.

any time.

Kelahiran

they say when someone dies, another soul is born.

well, that might be true. when the world were shocked by the devastating earthquake that hit China with thousands of casualties, a soul was born here. a baby boy.

congratulations to pn. nurul with the latest edition to her family. we went to visit her yesterday (friday). actually i went there by chance coz my asst manager had asked me to replace her. she had a meeting that time. so i obligingly followed the rest of the party to a maternity clinic at wangsa maju.

the healthy baby was born on thursday at around 11pm. weighted at somewhere over 3kg. i think its 3.4kg. that was a lot of weight for a new born baby. at that time no name was given yet. pn. nurul looked fine and healthy after the operation. she had to undergo a ceaserian (is my spelling right?) coz her baby's something is entangle somewhere. i'm not sure what it is but she's fine.

he's such a cute baby boy. sleeping while her other children were playing around and shouting a lot. :-)

i wonder if i could hold one of my own.

maybe.

Tahniah

congratulations. is the only thing that i could convey to you. i always pray for your success. deep down i know you can do it. you have the determination. you have the will to succeed. and most important of all you have the support of everyone around you. family, loved ones.

this is actually the beginning of a journey. we never know what lies ahead. but with the kind of person you are. intelligent, smart, hardworking, resourceful. it will be just like a bump on the road to success. stay strong dear. just stay strong.

i believe in you.

i never stop to say a little prayer for you.

Tak Ada Rezeki

it was not meant to be. so close yet so far. hard as it may seems but man utd is the EPL champions 2007/2008 season. Congrats to man utd team. and to their supporters... NOT! for Chelsea team and supporters, maybe next year.

but dont forget we still have one more cup to grab. The champions league cup ofcourse. hopefully chelsea will not end this year empty-handed. the biggest prize of them all. please la give us something to cheer on to. or something to brag to other supporters. i reaally need to shut them up. hehehe...

i cant wait to watch the final match. what ever the result is i'm sure i'm ready for it. even if its not in our favour. is it?.. ;-)

hope is not lost.

Penentuan Juara

tonight is the night. we will see two of the best EPL teams fight all the way to the wire. Will Man Utd will be crown champion or will Chelsea nicked them for the glory? As far as i'm concerned, Chelsea (the great) has nothing to lose while Man Utd has everything to lose for.

but the shit is, all games are played at once. so for Chelsea fans out there, get an Astro. i really wish i could watch Chelsea's final game. :-( but i dont think i'll manage to find any mamak restaurant showing Chelsea's game tonite. in my dreams maybe.

truthfully, whatever the result is, i'm proud with my team. they started this season with nothing but could ended it with something. they are even in the final of UEFA Champion League. who would thought Chelsea are in the final? but they will on 21 of May 2008 at Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, Russia.

so the best of luck to Chelsea team. i'll say, if we fail the league then go all out for ECL honour. i believe all of you can do it.

Chelsea Rulezz!

Teruskan Perjalanan

move on.

easier said then done. when you are at the losing side, time is the biggest enemy. when there is no more feeling left then no one can do anything. can everyone do it? i mean seriously? realisticaly? the standard answer is:

"ofcourse. people should move on. why ponder when it will only hurt you more. pick yourself up. move straight. dont ever look back. if i or A or B or C or whoever can do it why cant you."

"get a grip of yourself. this is not the end of the world."

"be strong. be brave. hope is not lost.so.. be strong."

"you stupid loser! you are such a faggot. come on! there are like.. thousands, even millions of -the other species- around. just take a pick and go with the ride."

etc.. etc..

fuck! dont you think these people doesnt know the answers are! if it was that easy then, damn! it wouldnt be such a problem right?.. yes, some people can do it and why not you? well, hello.. if we are created the same then why bother moving on. hell, that phrase might not even exist. that is why we are called humans that are blessed
with feelings and emotions. we are born different. even twins are not the same. some poeple can some people cant. some people just need a few days the least BUT some other need, maybe a life time. and some people need between a few days and a lifetime. so, when is it? not a fucking clue..

who doesnt want to move on. i mean some people may want to 'move' to another 'world' because this world is to much for them but we must remember that there are people that are still want to live their life but just dont know what to do. when they are at the wrong side of the road, sometimes, they are lost.

they wish it could be that easy. letting go. that is the first thing they must do before any 'moving on' can be done. but time. they need time. for the time being, time is not at their side. tell me who love suffering? let me smacked them in the head and tell me what hurt really felt like. past can really haunts. its like a neverending retribution. never want to let them slip away so they will suffer for as long as they are still breathing.

moving on.

wish it is as simple as turning on the switch. dont tell us you understand. because you never will.

easier said than done.

Cinta? Sengsara?

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.
So.. which one is it?!..

to love or to suffer?.."

Kira Stok

last monday, 28th may, was my last monthly stock take day. and coincidently we were counting my department's stock. i have great, and not so great memories about stock take day. whether it was monthly or annually. but all were in good heart. the good one i keep. the not so good one i also keep. because it was one of those things that you couldnt possibly forget (unless you have amnesia).

i'll miss the tension. the sweat. the tiredness. the going home late. the wrong counting. the 'brapa banyak lagi?', 'dah abis kira?'. the laughing. the fun. the mockery. the foolishness. the swearing. the 'fuck'ing. etc.. just imagine, one of it was finished at 4:30am-arrived home at 5:00am-slept at 6:00am-woke up at 8:30am-strated work at 9:30am. its insane!

especially the annual and bi-annual where the tension was the highest every year. it was a hell of experience for me. something that i could tell (brag!) my friends, kids or even my grandkids (if i have any).

i'llm miss everything..

CHELSEA ke final UEFA Liga Juara Juara Eropah!

Behold! Chelsea are through to the FINAL of UEFA Champions League! the 1st time in its history, Chelsea shot down Liverfool at Stamford Bridge and with a 3-2 scoreline and 4-3 aggregate to step into the final of one of the biggest and most prestigious club football event in the history of this planet. the Champions League final! yeaaahh baby yeaaahhh!!!

it was worth all the nervousness, the tensions, the swearing, the 'waiting the game to start at 2:30am', the 'sitting alone amidst of liverfool supporters at the mamak where i watched the game'. the 'watching the game went into extra time'. it was one of those nerve wrecking experience! but it was worth it. very satisfying. the satisfaction i felt may be better that sex. well... maybe not. but then again it was truly an amazing night. for Chelsea fans! muahahaha!

the only scratch that night was the fact that our opponent manage to score, finally, at stamford bridge after 4 years of unsuccessful attempt. but with the likes of torres playing, anything is possible. he is a damn good player. bro, u are in the wrong team la. if he wants to win anything next season or the season after, Chelsea is the club for u.. hahaha!..

i cant wait for the final at Moscow on 21st May 2008 (22nd in Malaysia). i already change my shift(hehehe!) just for the sake of watching the final game. i wouldnt want to miss this for anything else. this is one of those (maybe) once is a lifetime game thing for me. coz i dont know when will i ever watch Chelsea in champions league final again. this is not league cup u know. making to the final is one thing but winning it is a bonus. and a big one!

for Chelsea fans out there lets hope for the best and dont u miss the finals in moscow ok. Chelsea will be the champions! the lion will eat the devil. MU fans, u r going down sucker. DOWN!.. hehehe... (no offence,k)

Chelsea x2...
Chelsea x2...
Chelsea rules!
We r the champion...
my friend..
cos we'll keep on fighting till he end..

LONG LIVE CHELSEA!!