4 Ogos

today is the 4th august.

actually i was reminded by my beloved handset that today is the 4th of august. at 1300 hours i saw it blinked. suddenly, i stopped doing whatever i did and i froze.

it was supposed to be the 8th year. but it was not meant to be. a few month short. im not dwelling on the past. but this particular date remind me so much of the past. it just happened. so maybe next year i'll forget about it. just maybe. but for this year, not yet. im so sorry. i just cant help it. im such a loser. ive said it so many times. i know. maybe everybody is sick of it.

so much love, so much anger, so much tears. with whom i can share it? no one. i dont know what to say. i dont know what to write. my brain is numb. so many things going pass through my head right know. good things. great things. happy things. the things that i want to remember.

she seemed content to open a new chapter in her book, a new beginning, a new episode, a new life. i always pray for the best for her. nothing less.

im so sorry dear. for all the things i'd done. i regret for all the pain, tears and scars that i did. right now nothing else matters more to me than to seek your forgiveness. the pain in me will remain for as long as i live. that i assured you. mungkin ini jalan takdirku.

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