sometime you've got to do what you really have to do. even if it kills you. even if you don't want to. but you need to. because if you are not doing it, it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
your hands were trembling. you can't think straight. you can't breath properly. you nearly had a nervous breakdown. you can't even focus on your driving. but still you went on. because maybe this is the only chance. the timing was right and the time has come. either now or never. you chose now.
sometimes it is a bit strange that someone with the weakest of heart can do things that they can't or shouldn't do. maybe it was some act of desperation or maybe it was just necessary to make a statement to say that what they have build for years shouldn't be thrown out of the window. you can't change what had happened but you sincerely hope that things wont change too drastically. yes you can't hide the fact that it will not be the same anymore. ever. it will never be the same because the damage is done.
but you feel you have to make a point that even if you had lost everything, they shouldn't lost it too. they are not the one that should suffer too. guilty of everything was what was in your mind along the way. let the blame falls on you. not them. they are perfectly innocent. guilty again. almost every moment you thought of things that you can do to turn it all around. things that wont involve them.
but every time you think hard to want to patch things up, you ended being more hopeless, weaker, excruciating pain, sadder and finally you arrived to the point of mental breakdown. or in other words.. crazy. yes crazy. the threat is very real. VERY REAL. only the thought of your family and the believe in God prevent it from happening. for now. lets just hope your mind will hold on for as long as it could. hold on for its dear life. because if you mind fails, then life has no meaning anymore. you don't want it to happen. ever.
you love everyone. even if they are not officially connected to you anymore but there is still a bond that link them to you. you love all of them so much. you would do anything to take all this problems far far away from them.
pakcik and makcik. forgiveness he seek. and there will always be love in his heart.
your hands were trembling. you can't think straight. you can't breath properly. you nearly had a nervous breakdown. you can't even focus on your driving. but still you went on. because maybe this is the only chance. the timing was right and the time has come. either now or never. you chose now.
sometimes it is a bit strange that someone with the weakest of heart can do things that they can't or shouldn't do. maybe it was some act of desperation or maybe it was just necessary to make a statement to say that what they have build for years shouldn't be thrown out of the window. you can't change what had happened but you sincerely hope that things wont change too drastically. yes you can't hide the fact that it will not be the same anymore. ever. it will never be the same because the damage is done.
but you feel you have to make a point that even if you had lost everything, they shouldn't lost it too. they are not the one that should suffer too. guilty of everything was what was in your mind along the way. let the blame falls on you. not them. they are perfectly innocent. guilty again. almost every moment you thought of things that you can do to turn it all around. things that wont involve them.
but every time you think hard to want to patch things up, you ended being more hopeless, weaker, excruciating pain, sadder and finally you arrived to the point of mental breakdown. or in other words.. crazy. yes crazy. the threat is very real. VERY REAL. only the thought of your family and the believe in God prevent it from happening. for now. lets just hope your mind will hold on for as long as it could. hold on for its dear life. because if you mind fails, then life has no meaning anymore. you don't want it to happen. ever.
you love everyone. even if they are not officially connected to you anymore but there is still a bond that link them to you. you love all of them so much. you would do anything to take all this problems far far away from them.
pakcik and makcik. forgiveness he seek. and there will always be love in his heart.
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