Pengorbanan

Aidiladha is also known as hari raya korban, commemorates the sacrifices made by the Prophet Ibrahim (hence the word 'korban,' which means sacrifice in Arabic).

i believe everyone must have done some kind of sacrifices in their lives. parents, children, spouse, fiancee, boyfriend, girlfriend, friends or whoever they are for different reasons. some are huge sacrifices and some are small sacrifices.

as for me, i also did some sacrifices here and there. small ones big ones. when my life took a turn, i just know that i have to make the biggest sacrifice of all.

and that is my life.

not that i want to kill myself or end it in any other way. what i want or what i need lies second now. it's not important what i want. all just seem to distant right know. maybe i'm still searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. life seems so hard.

for now on family is priority no.1. what ever i do or want to do, i will do it for my family. they have sacrificed a lot for me. a lot. love, money, support, everything. i owe them so much. my sister sacrifice so much for my parent. the thing is, i still couldn't afford to help her. and this has make me sad. very very sad.

every time when i pray, i prayed that i have enough capacity in terms of everything especially on the financial front, to help them ease at least some of the burden. it really kills me when i felt that i have done little so far. i want to contribute more. maybe i need to do more sacrifices. i just need a breakthrough. maybe a miracle.

i felt sorry for myself. pity. someone said to me all i can do right now is be patience and someday all things would turn out for the best. do i have a choice? maybe that is all i have left. patience.